Time To Leave The Playpen

By Andrew Gould

When I hear the phrase “that was so unloving”, sometimes I want to scream!

We are living at a time when our feelings have become too all-important to us. Over here in the UK we find members of the Police and Armed Forces sueing the Government because of the ‘emotional distress’ that they suffered in the course of their duties. The question needs to be asked, “What did they think they were signing up for when they joined – a Sunday School outing?” Where is the resilience, fortitude and backbone that we once prized as our national trait?

My grandfather was one of the most gentle people that I knew, and only after his death did I learn that he had been a Lewis gunner in the Great War and saw some of the most dreadful places in that conflict. He never talked about it nor complained about the scars left on his soul from the horrors that he must have witnessed.

I used to work for an insurance company, and motorists that were contemplating a trip to the USA were advised to take out “top up insurance”. This is because if you were involved in an accident not only would you have to pay up for the damage to another person’s vehicle but you might get sued for a whole host of other things, such as the “emotional trauma” of the occupants of the other car. Where is this trend leading us?

Don’t Hurt My Feelings!

To generalise, English people are perceived as somewhat cold, formal, clinical, cynical and rather negative, by Americans. To English eyes on the other hand, Americans are seen as being more warm, positive, approachable, and “huggy” - but also oversensitive and gullible. These are generalisations of course but there is an element of truth in them.

While on the one hand the LORD does not want us to be a cold, miserable and griping lot, on the other hand neither does he want us to be oversensitive and unable to receive correction.

There are good things in both national temperaments that we could do with learning from one another, but there are some bad things that we have already learnt and which have run rife in the Church.

God Is LOVE - So Don’t Correct Me!

There is a kind of culture of “over sensitivity” that has spread through the Body like a cancer. It has got to the stage where to make even a remark that comes just close to being critical or negative is perceived by the recipient as being an attack on them personally, and hurtful to their feelings. They instantly become defensive, and angry and either back off completely and then tell the whole world and his dog (behind your back) what a bad person and unloving Christian you are, or they turn round and rip your head off, screaming “God is love – how can you say that to me!” Well, God is love, but do we really know what Love - REAL BIBLICAL LOVE - is?

God So Loved The World

God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whomsoever believeth in Him should not perish but should have everlasting life.

We all know this verse off by heart, and it is a marvellous picture of the love of God, but it is by no means the whole picture! What does the rest of the verse say?

God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.  He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved.  But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God.

Far more often than it talks of the love of God, the Bible talks of the holiness of God. John - the very same disciple who says that God is love -, said “God is light and in Him is no darkness at all”

In I Corinthians 13 we read of the characteristics of love, which is really the outworking of God’s character in us. Now the very same God who is all those things in 1Cor.13 is the God who thundered at Sinai, who destroyed those who rebelled against Him in the wilderness, who made the whip of cords and drove the moneychangers out of the temple and who denounced the Pharisees so scathingly in Matt. 23. This Jesus who loved us so much that he died for us also says:

As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.

What we have forgotten in all these things is that God is “El Emet” the God of Truth. With God, truth and love are part of the same package they are utterly inseparable.

Before we came to know the LORD the Holy Spirit worked in our hearts to show us our utterly lost and sinful condition. Now I don’t know about anyone else, but it was not an enjoyable experience for me, and I did not feel too happy at the time. However, I’m not going to sue God for hurting my feelings! Praise God that He did it – He loved me enough to show me the truth and to upset my feelings. It was pretty traumatic in my early days as a believer too – I felt like I was going through hell at the time, but I learnt much truth that way, and I am glad that He did it. The love of God is sometimes painful.

For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.

Scourging means whipping! Whipping does not sound like an enjoyable experience, does it? Yet is it part of that love of God. Let us be clear about this, that the LORD is absolutely committed to producing in us the character of His Son and conforming us to His truth regardless of the cost to our feelings.

In the same way that God is committed to conforming us individually to His truth, even so is He doing the same with the Body as a whole. He is the God of truth and all that is not true will be purged out of His Church.

In the same book of Revelation, Jesus has some very stern things to say to Churches who permit individuals to teach false doctrines and to those who themselves teach such.

And unto the angel of the church in Thyatira write; These things saith the Son of God, who hath his eyes like unto a flame of fire, and his feet are like fine brass; I know thy works, and charity, and service, and faith, and thy patience, and thy works; and the last to be more than the first. Notwithstanding I have a few things against thee, because thou sufferest that woman Jezebel, which calleth herself a prophetess, to teach and to seduce my servants to commit fornication, and to eat things sacrificed unto idols. And I gave her space to repent of her fornication; and she repented not. Behold, I will cast her into a bed, and them that commit adultery with her into great tribulation, except they repent of their deeds. And I will kill her children with death; and all the churches shall know that I am he which searcheth the reins and hearts: and I will give unto every one of you according to your works. But unto you I say, and unto the rest in Thyatira, as many as have not this doctrine, and which have not known the depths of Satan, as they speak; I will put upon you none other burden.

Paul said of false teachers “let them be accursed”.  Strong words! Now these were false teachers , wolves and agents of Satan. But what of those who did love the LORD but were going astray, did he not mention it for fear of being critical or unloving?

But when Peter was come to Antioch, I withstood him to the face, because he was to be blamed. For before that certain came from James, he did eat with the Gentiles: but when they were come, he withdrew and separated himself, fearing them which were of the circumcision. And the other Jews dissembled likewise with him; insomuch that Barnabas also was carried away with their dissimulation. But when I saw that they walked not uprightly according to the truth of the gospel, I said unto Peter before them all, If thou, being a Jew, livest after the manner of Gentiles, and not as do the Jews, why compellest thou the Gentiles to live as do the Jews? We who are Jews by nature, and not sinners of the Gentiles, Knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law, but by the faith of Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Jesus Christ, that we might be justified by the faith of Christ, and not by the works of the law: for by the works of the law shall no flesh be justified.  But if, while we seek to be justified by Christ, we ourselves also are found sinners, is therefore Christ the minister of sin? God forbid. For if I build again the things which I destroyed, I make myself a transgressor. For I through the law am dead to the law, that I might live unto God.  I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.  I do not frustrate the grace of God: for if righteousness comes by the law, then Christ is dead in vain.

Because Peter’s error was public before all, Paul rebuked him before all. The truth of the Gospel is more important than our hurt feelings or embarrassment. Among some groups of Christians today the gossip would be flying about - how horrid Paul was to Peter, “how unloving, what a terrible thing to say, Peter was so upset” etc. Paul would be considered the villain for sinking the “Love Boat”.

What does it say happened afterward?

“And Peter departed with many tears and black-balled Paul all over the Internet. For verily Paul had embarrassed him sore before all the brethren.  Indeed Peter could no longer stand the sight of Paul, for his soul was bitter against him”

No! Praise God. Peter could have gone away in a huff, but he did not. Peter was a man of God enough to look at what Paul said, weigh it in the light of the truth, repent and get on with the job.

Are we true sons or bastards?

For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds. Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin.

And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.  If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.

Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness.

Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.  Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees;  And make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be healed.  Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord:  Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;

The Greek Word translated “chastisement” is better rendered correction. When scriptural correction comes our own way or someone else is rebuked for teaching false doctrine, which is more important - their or our hurt feelings, or God’s truth?

Many Christians get all offended when someone tries to correct them, and out of fear of rebuke they can’t stand to see others corrected either. Even the gentlest correction is grievous to them and they read it in the worst possible light. They see all correction, however mild, as rejection! They are so conformed to the “namby-pamby”, “wishy-washy” counterfeit idea of love that Satan has sold the Church, that they are effectively uncorrectable. They are ruled by their feelings, and not walking by faith. 

Some of them are believers of long standing, but they are still crawling on the floor like babies who have never learnt to walk. They want to be bottle fed with milk, and anything that has to be chewed over, or is bitter to the palate, is vomited back.

Like a babe that cannot yet reason for itself, when adults try to steer them away from harm, or when things are removed from their grasp, they just squawk and yowl in protest. All babies know is that their wishes are not being granted, their wants are not being supplied, so they yell. They cannot sit and think like a mature child of God, and evaluate whether rebuke or correction is deserved or not. They are the ones who, as they read these words, will be so offended that they will not even consider whether what I am saying is true!

Saccharin Not Included

Ideally correction should come with kindness and concern and a little seasoning of grace. But this is an imperfect world with imperfect people in it. Sometimes our brothers and sisters get the truth right but forget to include the grace and humility and give us both barrels at point blank range. Question is, are we still mature enough to read the message instead of shooting the delivery boy? 

Many years ago I was into the Word of Faith Doctrine. I had a dear friend who could see it for the error that it was, and she was not a woman noted for great patience, overweening tolerance and suffering of fools gladly. She did not hesitate to let me know her thoughts or give me a piece of her mind! 

Eventually I agreed to read a book she pressed on me “The Seduction Of Christianity”. I did not enjoy reading it at all. It was painful and shaming to admit that I was deceived and I had a really most unpleasant time as the LORD stripped away the false doctrine.

After a week or so He began to restore to me the truth that I had strayed from and it turned into a time of joy. What I would have missed if I had hardened my heart and just become bitter and rejected the correction because it did not come in a way that made me feel good!

We’re In The Army Now

Beloved, it is time for all of us to grow up! We are not merely sons but soldiers. We are in a battlefield, not on a picnic site! Like those who served in the Great War, there will be traumatic, even terrible times coming our way. If we continue the way we are going we will not make it through. It is time to toughen up!

"Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ".

© 2003 Andy Gould. All rights reserved. Cross+Word Website: http://www.banner.org.uk/  This document is the property of its author and is not to be displayed on other websites, redistributed, sold, reprinted, or reproduced in printed in any other format without permission. Websites may link to this article, if they provide proper title and author information.   One copy may be downloaded, stored and/or printed for personal research. All spelling and phraseology is UK English.